'Guh' Because it's not all flowers and mooniconrs people.

I don't know why but I woke up this morning to the absolutely astounding and shockingly loud sounds of a fucking big ass gun being fired very close to where I'm sleeping. And when I say 'fucking big ass gun' I mean the soldiers at Baston would not have been able to hold that wavering line if the Germans had had theses things. For some reason or another being jolted out of bed by artillery at five in the morning made me want to write a blog. Sadly though the majority of the cool shit I've done I can't put up here, I just know some sergeant somewhere would read it not 30 seconds after being posted, I would get an excruciatingly angry e-mail telling me to take it down and be scolded for the remaining next few months.

Now I have forgotten where I was going with that.

I know it has been a shamefully long time sense I have posted anything at all, let alone anything worth reading, my only followers are two of my best friends. I know that's only because I don't give enough of a shit to read anything else anybody says. The whole blogging thing to me seems like yes, the internet has given everyone a voice, but unless you know and care about the person anyway, who gives a flying fuck? If I don't actually know you and have developed an intimate relationship with you through close personal interaction and mass epic adventuring, why the fuck should I give a damn about your quirky little mishaps and why you had a slightly worse day than a grande no-fat white chocolate mocha at fucking Starbucks. But then again, maybe living a harder life than most has jaded me to the expletives of yuppy North America.

Yes I am indeed in Afghanistan, and yes this place is truly the asshole of the world. Now I had originally written a long page about why we are here and how much I fucking hate the hippies who protest the war in Iraq but couldn't find Afghanistan on a map. But then I realized the only people who will actually read this are probably pretty tired of hearing me rant about that and I would probably get in shit from aforementioned sergeant for letting the public know how I really feel. But what I wrote was really good so I saved to my hard drive and carried on.

And for those you who are wondering, Moonicorns live on the moon.

Well balls. I spent so long this morning coaxing my internet to work with everything from peanut butter to promises of a trip to Disneyland just so I could maybe write something meaningful, but now that it works I have fuck all important to say because I don't want to get yelled at. Not because I am weak an emotional and cry when I get yelled at, 'I've been chewed out before'. I just hate it because when people yell they don't tend to think clearly and end up repeating themselves. And one of the things that is a sure fire way for me to fly off the handle and stab someone in the eye with a chair is nagging, repetitive anger. My mom used to do that and now I just leave whenever she gets upset because Gods forbid I beat her to death with a chair. I am a normally grounded, calm and patient guy, but FYI nagging repetitive (hard word to spell fluently) un-cognitive anger will land you in a world of hurt. :D

So now I lay here in my bed in my little 5 by 7 foot 'hooch' as we call it. It's really more of a bunk space constructed crudely of plywood and scrap wood. It's not too bad, I have always been very adaptable and I tend to enjoy the long periods of simple life the army has offered me. It' so pleasing sometimes to learn I can live happily, so humbly. Porcelain is a luxury we don't have and the showers are disgusting, but over 1000 Americans will do that. But it could be worse, at least I do get showers. My section has a neat little mess tent and gym (that we built) beside our workplace all surrounded by a nice iron picket and mine tape fence that I built. Altogether its not a bad place to be.

Seriously, people brand the army as a hard, fearful life. But until you live with only a few pairs of clothes and a few possessions you really don't know much about yourself do you? Too confused and lost in all the material thing you are. When I get home, there will be a mass exodus of shit from my house. Stuff I dont use, clothes I never wear, and all the odds and sods from my past that i really should let go of anyway. All I need are my comic books. And my movies. All I need are my comic books and my movies, but that's it. And my lego. My comic books, my movies and my lego, that's all! And my XBOX and 56" LCD TV. All I need is my comic books, my movies, my lego and my XBOX and 56" LCD TV. That's all I need. I don't need you!

Okay I lie. I really need you a lot.

Okay this is gonna be harder than I thought. But really, I could get on with just that stuff and some clothes. And my artwork. Fuck. I just need to stop the useless spending.

Lot'sa love.

104.3 Radio FAIL!

K, so I like my rock n' roll. I really do. It's a long the same line as juice boxes and video games with excessive violence. So, when I hear a radio station that claims to be the "Spirit of southern BC' and 'The best rock in the Kootenays.' I'm expecting a good turn out of 70's through to new music with the up-beat-inyourfaceattitude that rock uses to generally define itself.

BUT! When I drive home from work, a 15 minute drive, and hear one terrible 80's love song that was done completely on keyboard, no drums or guitar at all, and then 10 minutes of commercials and the same boring ass news I've been listening to all day... I don't get home in a very good mood. And it isn't isolated to this one instant, I'm always in my car and always listening to the radio, and since M-FM is the only rock station around and I've listened to my new Manson CD to death, I hear M-FM a lot. I have only EVER heard AC/DC once, and that was as hard as I've heard rock on this station. It's either Phil Collins, or April Wine or some other pansy ass shit that teenagers fucked to in the 80's! I wanna hear some goddan'd rock n' roll dammit!

Secondly, I am so fucking sick and tired of hearing Dan fucking doosh-bag Ashman in the morning!. He's got CBC, KBS, and M-FM cornered. Like fucking seriously, does that asshole work at selling shitty trucks at all??? 'Cause it sounds to me like he's spending all his time talking on the fucking radio! "So when you see the rest, buy, lease and service from the best, at loan by phone, 361-0202-"FUCK YOU! I can't wait til that asshole retires, I know I am not the only one, I know the rest of you hate him just as much as I do. He's a slimy car dealing tool.

Sports. Fucking sports. If it's not the news, commercials, or Dan fucking doosh-bag Ashman, its sports. I don't give a shit HOW the city cheers on the Smokies! They probably all got cancer and blood poisoning from breathing in that arenas air anyway!I listen to the radio for music to help me drag my ugly ass outta bed at 0-dark and stupid in the morning. I don't want to hear about this seasons success of some fuck-tard I graduated with... He was an asshole then, he's probably an asshole now!

If I wanted to hear sports talk or the news, I would listen to CBC. If I wanted to hear terrible 80's wannabe's try to lament about their lost love on a key-tar I would listen to KBS. I go to Mountain FM for rock and I got let down.

Ulllghh.

So, ya. I flew down to Vancouver yesterday because I had an appointment for a medical examination today. So last night we get off the plane and immediately catch the skytrain to Broadway ave or whatever. Then it seemed we weren't even close to our hotel or the hospital so I found a bus stop map and plotted our route. After an hour of walking and some handy directions from a fireman (turns out I can't navigate worth a shit in a city...) we made found the Suttin Place Hotel. The website said it was 5 star and it really looked like a ritsy place, they type I would feel out of place in.

Fuck. That. Shit. That place sucked! first they were dicks to us and I immediately sensed a condescending attitude towards us regular folk. Even though my buddy had given them his credit card number over the phone for the reservation, because he didn't physically have it on him, I for some reason had to fork over $300 fucking bucks as 'damage deposit'. So they had his credit card number and my $300. Tools.

Then we get to the rooms and there is a bellboy or whatever the fuck you call them who pushes past us, talking to us like he grew up on the farm to, all the while he cleaned our the mini bar and the bowl of candies by the TV. Fucker. Then, we were told we had complimentary internet. Nope. They wanted me to pay as soon as I tried to connect. No Canadian channels on the TV anyway... though I did watch Kanye verbally bitch slap Taylor Swift in front of the world, that was a cunty play.

K, so we get up this morning without our promised complimentary breakfast which turns out didn't exist. After a quick stop at Tim's for coffee and a $30 cab ride we get to the army hospital and we were early so we got sent through really quick. I was given a perfect bill of health. Like I am the picture image of a healthy male human being right now. Everything seems to be perfect.

Then the doc decides I need vaccination boosters and now I'm sitting at home sick as a dog and all congested. THANK YOU!!!

But I guess I'm getting paid to do this so that kinda helps ease the patronizing agony of my weekend.

Is it really too much?

So, I've been told that too much of a good thing can ruin it for you... What about music? I love music, and listening to it, doesn't matter what type, just if it has a good beat and a solid tune, sure man, alright, I can chill or rock out to that shit!

Soo... I am currently transferring over 22,000 songs to my music file on my laptop. Over 120 gigs of tunage! And I wont ever listen to all of it I am sure. This is me standing in a white, Matrix'y room then suddenly surrounded by more music than I can handle. My poor brain is probably gonna collapse! There will be a black hole like implosion inside my skull and then I'll just stare blankly into nothingness with a bit of drool dripping off my lip. BUT! I'll be occupied with enough music forever. So it's cool you know?

On top of that, I got like a shitload of movies, all decent ones but I wont transfer those to my laptop, I'm sure that would be like stuffing it so full of goodness that it itself my explode in my face... then I'd be out a laptop... FAIL! almost.

I know I may spend weeks pouring over my media lists picking out the crap I know doesn't please my audio receptors. Lets face it, if I can't listen to it and you like you, you're retarded and should be shot. In the face. With a T-rex. By Indiana Jones.

PEACE! !

Date my Avatar= Awesomewintastic (sexy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU

I fell on a healthy... Ouch?

So... I've been home for 8 days... and, I haven't had red meat since before then, I've started drinking decafe' coffee!
Even that little accent dealy on top of the 'e' used to piss me off cause it's french. But with enough cream and sugar, its not bad, and there is less heart disease! So... thats coming along I guess.
And really I was forced into it, my mum makes a lot of chicken and my stepdad has to drink decafe' cause of his heart attack. I have nothing to do so I walk EVERYWHERE and run alot.

And now that I am back in BC, I am actually eating fruit that is really fresh, doesn't just say that and I don't have to trust what the army says. "The box says the fruit is fresh. I dont care what the expiry date says, eat your fruit!"

I had an apple right off the tree yestarday... My body almost rejected it because it was too good for it. My body was so used to eating crap and sugar and transfats that... It didn't know what to think!

Well thats new... umm... my mum has a vegitable garden and I actually picked my beans and carrots before I ate them... like 30 minutes fresh!

It's a brand new day... or week.

(Prototype) Don't tolorate Vampires.

Alright, so this is just a prototype I guess, but I drew it in class this summer when I should have been paying attention to... umm... something about...

Well anyway, I think it turned out pretty good.